Chapter 13
Setting Out
Axios, Upper Midgard
17 Ianuarius 652
Pawel watched the children as they lined up at the larder to accept their complimentary three-day ration of hardtack and salt pork from the Guild quartermaster. Much like the accommodations and meals at Guild Hall, the rations were available to all Adventurers, but availability was limited and Rookies were understandably given priority. As much as Pawel had been lectured lately about having the children earn their way in the world, he was not the only one looking to help them find their footing, though perhaps he was doing more than most others would.
He had given up on the idea of just narrowly getting by on their starting money or even the advance he got from the Guild and gotten everyone kitted out about as well as they could be at their current level. He had ended up spending over nine thousand denarii, but a third of that was just to get himself equipped halfway decently. The remaining portion was split between himself and Zofiya, so he was shouldering the greater share of the debt, and rightfully so. This time he would be sure to make his payments to the Bank on time.
Because Fighters could make the most use of arms and armor sooner, they were more expensive to equip starting out, but each Job had their particular expenses. For instance, a Mage's first Grimoire would cost more than all the kit of a Fighter at the same level. A Cleric's vestments could get rather pricey as well, but the more costly was time the Party would lose in their absence while they performed their Temple service to be granted the right to wear those vestments. It was always something.
Zofiya nudged him with her elbow and said, "You're worrying about everything under the sun again. Stop it."
Pawel furrowed his brow as he continued to watch the children.
"It's their first ranging..."
"We're just going to Weinsberg," Zofiya said, "sticking to the King's Road the whole way. It hardly counts as a ranging. You never used to be this much of a worrywart."
"Yeah, well, things happened..."
Though Zofiya had been keeping her distance from him the past few days, she linked her arm in his and rested her head on his shoulder, telling him quietly, "Those same things happened to me too, Pawelek... You don't think I've forgotten, do you? I still have the nightmares sometimes. Not as much as I used to, but the further we go into Trials..."
Pawel patted her arm with his free hand.
"I know. You weren't jus' crawlin' into my bed those nights 'cause you liked me."
"Well, that was part of it," she replied with a wry grin.
She sighed.
"Damn it... I knew I wouldn't be strong enough for this..."
"Strong enough for what?"
Zofiya glanced over to the children before saying, "You know what, or at least you should. It's only been four days and I'm already losing my resolve. I know what I ought to do, but I can't... I'm not strong enough... I get to thinking things like maybe if we hadn't waited all this time, none of this would have happened..."
This only made Pawel feel worse. Her being angry at him, her keeping him at a distance, this was no less than what he deserved. Even her walking out on him would be easier to take than her turning the blame on herself.
"Hey," he said, "don't you be thinkin' like that. What I did, that was on me. Remember who's the asshole here."
"It's just... I try to stay mad, but I feel like I'm hurting myself more than you when I try to stay away. Then I get to thinking... It was just an NPC... and I hate myself for it..."
Even in the best of times, Pawel tried to minimize the open displays of affection with Zofiya and Jun around the children, but at the moment, he was not thinking about them, only Zofiya, so he started stroking her head as he would do when she was upset. As much as she righteously held him in contempt for what he did, she could not simply turn off nearly fifteen years of feelings just like that, so her mind was taking her to some unpleasant places.
"It's this damn World," he told her. "It screws with your head. It's why we need to get the kids out as soon as we can."
"And the only way out is forward," Zofiya replied. "How long will it take us? How far will we have to go?"
Pawel tried to remember how much it cost them to get back to Earth. It had taken everything they had, everything the children's parents and their fallen comrades had bequeathed to them, and even then the World only gave them six years of reprieve. Was it a trick they could pull off a second time? Even if they could, would it be enough for the World to leave them alone?
All he could tell Zofiya was, "Yeah, forward... and this is the first step."
Recovering a bit of her sense of humor, Zofiya teased him, saying, "Even if it hardly counts as a ranging?"
Pawel managed a bit of a grin.
"Even if it hardly counts as a ranging."
